Are you lonelier than a vegetarian at a steakhouse? I hope not, because that will be death to your business. Well, today I am going to give you hermits and cave-dwellers some key social skills to making friends and make people like you. Use these techniques to help mold your anti-social self into an irresistible friend magnet!

1. Be Interested. People like people who like them. Does that make sense? Let me try again. People are more likely to spend time with other people  who are interested in them. Whether you meet people online, offline or over the telephone, take a sincere interest in getting to know who they are and what their interests are. DO NOT TRY TO SELL THEM ON ANYTHING! Before ANYONE is sold on your business they must be sold on you! Nobody really wants to get to know someone who just wants to sell them something. If people are able to sense you sincerity the odds that they will want to build a relationship with you are in your favor.

2. Listen, really listen. Network Marketers generally have the listening skills of bag of rocks. When someone is giving you information, listen to what they have to say (don’t think about how you’re going to sell them on your business while they are speaking!) People know themselves better than anyone else and they are more than happy to tell you who they are and what’s important to them. Ask questions. This communicates a sincere desire to know someone and allows them to feel good about you. After all, most people are happy to invest in a relationship that is worth the investment. No one wants to deposit funds into an overdrawn account!  Give them a return on their investment and listen.

3. Learn their language (not literally).  The best way to reach someone is to speak their language. This is the third building block in our process. First, you get to know someone by sincerely taking an interest in them. Second, asking them questions and listening to their responses tells you what is important to them. Now it’s time for third relationship building block, speaking there language. Talk in terms that they understand. Cedric Harris once said “If you learn how to listen to people they will always tell you how to sell them”. Talk in terms of their interests, their values, or their ideas. If someone is interested in cars then talk to them about cars. If some values spending time with their family, relate to them. If someone asks you about your business then talk in terms that will allow them to see how your business relates to their values. This is easier said than done and takes a lot of practice, but the skill is well worth the effort.

4. Acknowledge their qualities. No, I don’t mean suck up to the people you want to sell to. No, I’m not saying give an insincere complement to get on their good side. I mean really point out things you like about people. Everyone has useful qualities and hidden talents. When you notice something you like about someone, let them know. Everyone likes to feel valued and important. This is especially critical when you are communicating with your downline. Your downline MUST know that they are an important part of your team and know how they contribute. If someone feels important they will generally make an effort to meet the expectation set by your perception of them.

This is not everything you need to know about developing relationships but these are some good fire starters that will lead you to the roaring flames of rapport! Now go make friends!